


Writing Prompt: Bard with an unusual instrument

by ElizabethTarington



Category: Original Work
Genre: Adventurers, Army, Bard - Freeform, Bart the Bard, Based On a D&D Game, Battle, Dungeons and Dragons Campaign, Ent - Freeform, Female Orc - Freeform, It is now, Lizardmen, Other, War, can that thing be considered an instrument?, male dwarf, orc barbarian, tree ent, wtf is that instrument, you can blame Ghost BC for my choosing of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 01:43:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16883229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethTarington/pseuds/ElizabethTarington
Summary: Prompt #248ecwritingprompts:Bard with an unusual/inconvenient instrument.No edits as it's just a warm up.Original Post: https://elizabethtarington.tumblr.com/post/175761862477/prompt-248I highly suggest you go to the original for a fun gif at the end of the story.





	Writing Prompt: Bard with an unusual instrument

“The enemy is breaking through the front line, Commander!” A scout reported, his voice a shaky yell to overcome the sound of clashing swords and shields.

The Commander sat atop his horse, his eyes wandering over the battlefield as he watched the disgusting lizardmen slaughter his men. Good men. Men with wives and children.

“How far are our allies?” The Commander asked the scout, steeling himself against the rise of anger in himself.

“They’re still a days journey from us, sir. But they sent some adventurers ahead that should be arriving soon.”

The Commander scoffed, “Adventurers? I don’t need adventurers, I need soldiers to kill these savages. I need a bloody army!”

“These adventurers come highly recommended, sir. I’m sure our allies would do everything in their power to help us.”

With a sneer, the Commander shook his head ignoring the scout’s optimistic attitude. It was his experience that wars had plenty of politics involved, often resulting in backstabbing or ‘allies’ turning into enemies on the battlefield.

“Ah, look, sir. The adventurers have arrived.” The scout pointed behind the Commander.

The Commander’s look of disdain only increased as he looked down at the troupe. A female orc barbarian with an overly large club hammer. A shorter than usual Ent that carried a large boulder covered with old and fresh blood. A dwarf cleric with a jeweled staff and short sword on his hilt. It was the most mismatched group the Commander had ever seen, but what surprised him the most was the halfling with no weapons at all and no armor with the exception of a bright fuzzy pink cloak and gold striped glasses that looked out of this world.

“We’re here by the order of Lord Tallius to help your remaining forces on the battlefield before his army arrives.”

“You?” The Commander flared his nose in annoyance, “What could you possibly do? One of you doesn’t even have any weapons or armor.”

“Oh, that’s me!” Piped up the bard, “My name’s Bart—Bart the Bard.”

“I don’t care who you are. You people can’t possibly help us on the battlefield and I won’t have people involved in needless slaughter—especially not you despite your lack of judgment.”

“Did he just call us idiots?” The Ent asked, “Can I smash him and take his stuff?”

“No, Smalet! God, you can’t just turn everyone into jam because they talk to you.” The female orc sighed, facepalming in embarrassment.

“Why not? This guy is clearly a douche.” Smalet replied, his voice even toned as he stared down at the Commander.

“You want to get paid, right?”

“Yeah, I like gold.”

“Well, then let’s maybe not kill this guy. Our task was to help him defeat this army.”

“Fine. But if he looks at me funny, it’s jam making time.”

As soon as the Ent finished his sentence a horrible shriek pierced through the sky causing all that heard it stop and look around at what could make such a gut-wrenching noise. To everyone’s amazement, even the lizardmen turned their gazes to the skies and suddenly ran from the battlefield.

“Ooh, that’s a dragon, right?” Bart the Bard asked, his eyes lighting up with excitement, “I got this cool new item that will put it to sleep.”

The Commander ignored his new adventuring friends as the dragon made an appearance, its blood-red scales glittering in the sunlight. Large and with an overbearing presence, the soldiers on the battlefield began screaming as the monstrous creature dove toward the ground, it’s gaping maw scooping up several poor men before it chomped them with a sickening crunch, bloody gore dribbling down its face as it landed onto the ground.

Ice filling his veins, the Commander watched in horror as his men continued to be snatched up and swallowed whole and felt nothing but small relief when it caught some lizardmen in its wake.

“Wow, look at that thing. How in the world are we supposed to kill it?” The dwarf asked, glancing over the side of the wall as the dragon continued to play with its food, now whipping half eaten people like a toy.

“I’m telling you, the item I got from last time will work. It’s meant to bring down creatures that are big like this.”

“We’re going to have to get closer if we want it to hear your stupid instrument.” The female orc sighed, readying her weapon as she started going down the wall as the others began following behind her.

“My instrument is majestic, thank you very much.”

“Don’t care. Just be ready. I don’t think we’ll last very long otherwise. Not even me, and I’m made out of wood. I could, like, slowly kill it by giving it splinters?”

“What? You think by giving it a mild gum infection that it would die? It could just go to the doctor.” The dwarf piped up, frowning up at the Ent.

“It could happen.”

“Guys, shut it. Let’s get this done. I want to get some sweet loot and I don’t want to die because Smalet thinks he could give the dragon mildly irritated gums.”

“I second that.”

“It was just an idea.” Smalet chuckled as they continued making their way to the battlefield.

The dragon noticed them immediately and huffed out a large blast of fire in their direction, causing them to scatter. The female orc yelled as she rushed forward with her club in hand and gave the dragon a good smack in the mouth, managing to crack a tooth.

“Uh, guys.” Bart spoke suddenly staring down at his instrument, “There’s a slight problem.”

“What is it?” The orc grunted, another swing connecting with the dragon’s foot causing it to howl loudly.

“Uh, it needs to charge before I can use it.”

“Oh, bloody hell! Get on with it then!” The dwarf roared, tapping his staff onto the ground, managing to put up a protective shield around the orc.

“Got it. I got this. I got this.” Bart repeated holding the instrument.

Moments felt like an eternity as they did their best to hold out against the dragon until finally, Bart was able to use his majestic instrument. In triumph, Bart jumped closer to the dragon and tooted out the majestic melodic tunes of his greatest weapon, The Almighty Kazoo of Destiny.


End file.
